Sunday, June 19, 2011

67. Forgive Me Readers, For I Have Sinned

It has been 212 days since my last confession. Here's a list of random things I have done since my last post:

Became an online minister and married a friend on a tall ship.

Received a gong as a birthday present.

Helped my daughter catch her first fish. We let the little guy go, unharmed.

Bought a sombrero at a thrift shop.

Started a weekend film festival in my neighborhood. I’m the projectionist, and we are fully licensed.

Met one of the Lisas.

Sat with my mom as my dad had surgery to remove a cancerous tonsil. Have watched him receive chemo and radiation for the past few months. That stuff is no joke.

Shopped at an Asian market. Ate durian on my back porch.

Sprayed a nest of yellow jackets.

Got my nipple bitten by a fish while swimming in a lake.

Wrote a poem about a time traveler. And one about a cowboy who wears a nine gallon hat.

Rented a cotton candy machine and ate until I could eat no more. Also, I had cotton candy all the way up my arm like a mummy. Figured out you could dip a banana in the unused sugar the next day for a semi-healthy treat.

Learned how to juggle four balls for like two seconds. But still, that’s a start.

Got a gold tooth. A molar, not an incisor. I have SOME class.

Found Rudolph’s bell-laden collar on our front steps on Christmas morning. Somehow he lost it.

Went to a hog festival. Saw no hogs. Ate hogs, though.

Took my daughter to see a musical. Shrek, if you must know. I’m not a big fan of musicals or Shrek, but it was entertaining. I could have done without the fart jokes.

Got up at three in the morning to watch falling stars.

Bought that “Friday” song, mostly because I felt sorry for the poor young singer who became a joke instead of a star. There’s a fine line between the two.

Made button rings with my daughter.

Decorated the entire sidewalk in front of the house with sidewalk chalk. It was a pretty awesome sight for the hour it lasted before the sprinklers washed it away.

Still didn’t cut off my hair.

Taught my son to press his cheek against mine on command.

Started a fire with one match.

And that’s about everything noteworthy. Life is just chugging along.

*P.S. Immediately after posting this, I pulled my daughter's first loose tooth. So let's add that to the list.