Today I want to write about something that Down syndrome has stolen from my life.
I'm a funny guy. Maybe that's debatable, but I think most people would agree. I enjoy funny movies and funny stories and funny songs and funny jokes. I used to be an aficionado of stand-up comedy. But since Ozzie's birth, the laughs don't come as easily. Why? Because stand-up comedy has become a curious mixture for me - equal parts laughter and anxiety. As I watch, I anxiously anticipate the next retard joke. I don't even like to watch stand-up unless I'm alone, just to avoid uncomfortable situations. And there's nothing funny about that.
I used to think this was all in my head, but this new reality was recently driven home like an arrow through my head (one of those joke ones) as I listened to the podcast of my favorite comedian. He went on an extended jibe about how awesome it would be to pretend he had a Down syndrome kid so he could get out of work whenever he wanted:
"I gotta leave early today."
"LIttle Johnny - my little champ. He's such a fighter. I just need to be there for him..."
Hardy har har - this went on for several minutes. Apparently my life is extremely funny. It was nice of him to point that out - now I don't feel the need to tune into his show to have a laugh. I don't listen to him any more. And I hate that - I really do - because he really was my favorite comedian. I still think, deep down, he's a decent guy. But that bastard owes me a big, fat apology. Hear that, Ace man?
You may notice I didn't mention him by name. And the reason I didn't is another sad fact of reality. If I did, there's a good chance his fans would take notice and start leaving offensive comments on my blog. They would tell me to lighten up, it was just a JOKE.
No, I won't. I can't. Down syndrome stole my sense of humor. A portion of it, at least.
Eddie Murphy, in his prime, used to pepper his monologues with "faggot" jokes. Andrew Dice Clay poked fun at "midgets." Hardy har har. I laughed along with what I thought was the rest of the world. But the rest of the world wasn't laughing. Not everyone. The faggots and midgets sat silent, along with the retards (and the parents of the retards).
I wish, one day, we could all enjoy stand-up comedy.
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