Whatever happened to Dan?
Where did he go?
A blogger friend told me that someone recently asked that about me. The answer is that I'm still right here. It's true that I'm not chronicling my life much these days. Doesn't matter, because no one reads my blog anymore (although I guess that's somewhat of a "chicken or the egg" conundrum). So, why am I not writing? Why am I not scouring other people's blogs and leaving witty comments every night? Well, the answer may bore you.
One day, not so very long ago, I realized that Down syndrome was consuming my life. I don't mean that Ozzie was consuming my life, I mean that I was spending my entire day with one foot dipped into the Ds world. I was reading a ridiculous amount of blogs, sharing my life with strangers, picking fights online (with those who deserved it), and, in general, investing a lot of my emotional energy on the subject. And finally something just snapped, and I reflexively took a big step back. I needed space to breathe.
I think I'm not searching for answers the way I once was. I'm not cutting a trail with a machete, I'm just sort of ambling along. Things have gotten much easier - I have figured out how to live. And life feels so normal now, I just don't feel compelled to share the minutia of my day-to-day existence. It seems uninteresting to me.
But on reflection, I realize that I didn't really tell my blogger friends about this transformation. And so my site gradually became less and less current. Less and less memorable. And finally, people just sort of forgot about my blog, I think. And that's okay with me, because many of my blog friends are very active online, and I know I don't give them a lot of reason to stop by anymore. My bad.
However, I am still here. I have not abandoned my blog. If you email me, I will write back to you. And I will continue to post my thoughts as I have them, just not the boring ones. Hopefully people will understand.
By the way, Ozzie is now walking full-time. And he recently turned two. And I have lots of photos and videos to post, I just haven't had lots of free time to gather and post them. I know that's a poor excuse, but it's the best one I have. I know that when Ozzie was born, it was really helpful for me to see videos of other children with Ds online. It helped me see the future in a way that text never could. So I promise I will post videos of Ozzie here so that others can watch him grow and develop. He is hilarious, and he has a smile as big as the horizon, and he brings joy to my life that you new parents cannot yet imagine. But you will experience this joy soon. Pinkie swear.
So that's my shocking story. I'm putting this message in this bottle and giving it a good hard toss out into the waves. If any of my blogger friends find it, I would love if they would leave me a comment. It's sort of boring all alone on this tiny island.
4 months ago